Dress Up

One whole semester is over - and I can hardly imagine how fast that was! I can't remember it much, except that it seemed like an endless cycle of stressful drudgery. Repeated day after day, night after night. Wake Up. Coffee. Dress Up. Worry. Coffee. Eat. School. Assignment. Coffee. Test. Library. Coffee. Sleep.

Just in case you are wondering, yes, I consider dressing up to be the sanest thing to do on the list. Really, you pretty much don't have a choice over sleeping, and waking up. Academics are good in that you learn fascinating stuff, but bad in that you pretty much retain painfully little of it after a while. So mathematically, a plus and a minus = 0. And you know math is  absolute, so why question. Caffeine makes you jittery and unstable. So there, dressing up is technically the golden sunshine inside my head (:

So while we are it, I think dressing up is metaphorically like looking back on something. You go through something stuff, which strips you down to your skin - then you dress up in new colours and prints afterwards, to brave the new world.

Every time, you learn and reaffirm quite a bit, which change the way you perceive the rest of your life. And, here's a list of a few things I realized the last semester. Some are personal, while some are down right shallow. But they are lessons all the same.

1) As much as possible, do not work with men on projects. 

Most of them are slackers, and hardly contribute much to the project. Which means, some men are good project members, and most of them, if they work, can actually do real good stuff. But, the probability of either is not promising enough to take such a risk. Mostly, it's the fairer sex that ends up working its fairer arse off as deadlines approach.

2) Stay away from N. V. A. C. 

Unless you speak Mandarin. 'Nuff said.

3) Figure out a way to become procrastinator minus 1

I am a procrastinator, who usually works best under pressure. But time and again, I always end up wishing I had one more day. One more day for that damn project report, one more day for that essay - it's always a day more to perfection satisfaction.

4) Follow your heart.

This semester was special in the sense I had a lot of freedom to do what I want and present it to others. For such presentations, I would relentlessly plan and scrutinize every detail, picking up ideas from outside inspirations and altering them according to how I perceive others' reactions would be to it. But I have come to realize it is never meant to work out that way. The idealist in me woke up half semester past and sprung into action. I never enjoyed it more afterwards (:
I want to make that stay, which would push me to do something I am passionate about, over all the alternatives and their incentives, no matter what anyone else would think. The outcome is better, I am happier and in the end, everything will seem like the perfect piece that fits an unplanned-for-but-fulfilling puzzle.

5) Be yourself.  Live by your own rules.

I have always tried to live by this phrase, but this past semester somehow completely made it clear to me.  That no matter how bad I am at something, or how embittered or lonely I may feel at times, realizing and coming into terms with my own shortcomings and feelings is the only way for me to move forward. And that this is always easier if I know just who I am. Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person I am, and a waste of a life that I could have fabulously laid out myself.

6) Don't plan! 

Some people are good at making plans. I am good only at trying to do so. I bought organizers, calendars, post-its - everything that would push me to optimize my daily activities and be at my efficient best. But somehow along the way, the post-its became crumpled, the calendar got wet, and the organizer got lost.
But my life got better. After the planning part fell through, I started worrying less, and though the reminders always struck a bit late, I mostly finished the task anyhow. This does not mean I am good as I am. I am most certainly not - not even a bit close to it (refer to point 3). But I feel like I will improve along the way, to become more efficient in unplanned ways. And this seems a better deal.

Live. Love. Laugh. Learn.
Carpe Diem.

That's the way I want to dress up now (: