Homme/Femme

I did not think about this much till I decided to major in a traditionally male discipline. It confused me to be at the receiving end of looks of shock/surprise over my 'bravery' at one end, and plain mockery for being just too feminine and lofty to be an engineer at the other end. After a while, I think it all got to me that I was not suited for this and I had made a bad decision. And bad decisions affect me a lot, and I became withdrawn and completely lost interest in whatever I may have otherwise found interesting. It went downhill from there. I suppose, in a sense, this experience was good because it got me reflecting about my own mindset and something in me woke up after that, as cliched as that sounds. No longer do I believe that my gender gives me a disadvantage in any field or activity. I may think and act differently, but that does not mean I can't achieve equivalent results. I think society has to move away from defining roles for women and men, or for anyone else for that matter. This view is just incompatible with the present. There are just too many sects, too many ideologies, and too many lifestyles present in today's society for any real distinction to be even vaguely representative of the reality.

The most basic of all these distinctions is that of the male and the female. Women are viewed as the weaker sex simply because the society has settled on a few areas as being the woman's or man's area of expertise and has further attached a greater value for the latter. Looking at this in a more micro manner, I would actually disagree that men and women are good at different things. I do not think that's fair for either sex. Every person is good at different things - generalizing this to fit a gender is just ridiculous. I believe both sexes are equally capable of achieving the same result in any activity, just that they would go about doing it is differently. I would suppose that because a certain way of doing something has been deemed by the society to be of greater value, it has been accepted that the person who takes the alternate course of action is just not as good at it. Claiming certain activities are not suitable for a particular sex only gives them an excuse to not try it, or to not let the opposite gender excel in it. The Glass ceiling.

Women haven't gotten their fair share in a lot of things. Hilary Clinton lost out thanks to being The woman. Taleban is on freaking rampage against girls' education. Singapore is still debating over letting women climb the political ladder. Central Asians still kill female babies. Decades of formal feminist movements have had significant impact in gaining woman's rights but most issues have always ended in a compromise, rather than a consensus. I feel this is because we never quite got to the root of the matter. It's not a very effective strategy to fight against obvious inequalities, before attacking the underlying mindsets. It should be that both are attacked concurrently. This would create a more lasting impact and resolve the issue at a higher level. The fundamental problem lies in the mindset. Hence, it is not of much use resolving the effects, without resolving the cause. This leaves us with the possibility that someday, people may come back to it.

There have to be objective standards for men and women to aspire towards. It should not be that an action be deemed good enough for a woman. The ideals should be the same for both sexes. It shouldn't be that respect for a man lies in his mouth, while for a woman, it is in the vagina. Power should lie in inspiring people and making a change, not in enticing people and have them cooing about you. I feel this is where the feminist movement has become grossly misguided. For example, I do not understand where in hell the post-modern feminists got this idea that sexual dominance over a man is a sign of power women can gloat over. That is just crude and self-deprecating. That just ultimately subscribes to the traditionalist notion that women are objects of sexual desire. They are just not fighting for the right things anymore. There has to be a major rethinking of their mission and strategy. I am not being elitist and thinking from a developed world's point of view when I say such lofty things. There are massively unfair practices present around the world, especially in the developing countries, which put women at major disadvantage and cause suffering. It is absolutely important that you stand up against these unfair practices and work to resolve them but you should not ignore the unfair attitudes behind them. The issue is never truly solved till it is attacked at its place of origin.

Having said that, a Happy Internation Women's Day to all you women out there!